Arcane sports, where it’s at.

Last night my husband and I enjoyed our first foray into real tennis.  Oh what’s that you say?  You play tennis?  It’s not arcane?  What am I talking about?  You, I am willing to wager my life’s saving on (which amounts to precisely one red dog and an unused Talbots gift card) play lawn tennis…not real tennis.

You will argue that you actually play on a hard court, etc, but you really have no idea what the hell I’m talking about.  It’s not your fault. I played a sport with about 25 enthusiasts world-wide.  In fact, our instructor is ranked 2nd in the WORLD.  That’s like having Tiger Woods teach you to putt.

Real Tennis is also called Court Tennis.  It is the first racquet sport, and the game upon which lawn tennis is based.  It is played on the weirdest court ever.

The balls have no bounce and they are all hand-made. The racquets are wooden and irregularly shaped. The scoring is impossible.  All in all, it is a nearly perfect sport in every way.

The best part for me was definitely the wardrobe, but that doesn’t differ in any way from traditional tennis whites.  I simply had no idea that a tennis skirt was so flattering.  I’ve been parading around the house since I bought the damn thing; so much so that one day, when my husband came home early I had to made a mad dash upstairs and rip off all of my clothing, lest he suspect that I had been prancing around the living room in my new kit AGAIN.

Although the sport doesn’t seem all that athletic at first (could this be because I spent the hour mainly slicing at air with my racquet?) I woke up stiff.  All of that athletic bounding gave me a terrific core workout.  And the whole thing is so delightfully snobby.  WAY more so than yoga or pilates.  I may have found my one true calling.

If you want to check it out, there is a tournament at the Racquet Club of Philadelphia on Monday.

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